This month we have the privilege to print the account of a recent conversation with one of the hobby's most interesting personalities. It was quite an honor to be given the opportunity to interview such a world-renowned expert. To our knowledge this is the only interview ever granted. The interview took place in Omaha, NE within a secluded non-descript warehouse located in the shipyard district. No recording devices (video or audio) were allowed. The attached photos were given to Reefkeeping Magazine to support the attached stories and should not be taken lightly.


RKM: I would like to thank you for taking the time to meet with us.

DD: My pleasure.

RKM: You go by the name of Diver Dan, why is that?

DD: Well,....its my name.

RKM: Can I call you Bob?

DD: Why don't we stick with Diver Dan for now?

RKM: Fair enough.

Diver Dan always carries a kit of secret tools to eradicate the enemy. The tool kit can clearly be seen in this photo.

RKM: How long have you been in the hobby?

DD: You hear this quite often, but in my case it couldn't be anymore true when I say "All my life". I guess you could say I was 'molded' for this type of life.

RKM: How much time do you spend diving?

DD: I think it could accurately be said that I spend more time in the water than out.

RKM: Would you describe your diving as recreational?

DD: My diving experiences have been to help hobbyists in their endeavors with reef aquariums. Although there was the one contract job I did in Malibu that involved a certain well-known lady's dream pool. That was a lot of fun. Or it was until that Ken guy showed up.

RKM: So your dive experiences sound more like work than recreational.

DD: Most certainly. My typical dive jobs are to assist with the eradication of some of the world's evildoers. I can relate one job that took place almost a year ago. This could serve as representation of my work.

RKM: That would be great to hear a real-life story.

DD: I received a call from a friend of mine in Saint Louis, MO (STL). At first the phone call was innocent enough, until we started talking about Griss' tank. Then I became very concerned and I knew we needed to go into action quickly. I needed a plan and needed one fast. The key was not to alarm the public or raise suspicions in the reefing community. I decided my plan needed a cover. I called a couple of team members together: Phillstone (a climatologist - possesses a gift for changing the climate almost anywhere) and Carlos (a linguist - speaks languages only he can understand) and Nanook (M&M - medic and muscle). The plan would be for them to distract the local reef community while I investigated the scene.

RKM: What was the problem? Why the urgency? STL is a great place. I have a friend that lives there. We go there from time to time to visit. You ever been to the Arch? You know there is an elevator in that thing?

DD: Who's telling this story?

RKM: Please continue.

DD: Thank you.

DD: After the team agreed to meet me in STL, I called Griss and told him we would get a few reefers together. Griss could show the group around town. At this time I hadn't related my fears to him, but I was greatly concerned.

DD: I met Griss at the STL airport and went straight to his house. Once at Griss' house, my worst fears were confirmed. It was overly evident that the evil Dr. Flatworm was trying to establish a new headquarters. I feigned a headache and sent Griss (unknowing to the danger in his own home) to meet the reefers for a day of baggie swapping and drooling over rock. Knowing Griss would be safe with the rest of the team, I went to work on "Operation Flatworm".

RKM: So you caught Dr. Flatworm? I mean he is one of the most sought after evildoers in the reefkeeping world. People have been looking to stop him for years. To catch him would be unbelievable.

DD: Dude, WHO is telling this story?

DD: I entered the tank and began my search. I immediately found the trail to Dr. Flatworm's lair. The thick coverage of corals and unfamiliar territory made it difficult to follow the trail. I spent the better part of the day tracking down Dr. Flatworm and his minions. Little did I know that the Aiptasia Forces had infested a nearby rock tank. My attention had been mainly on capturing Dr. Flatworm, and I was unprepared when the trail led me into the rock tank. The Aiptasia Forces must have sensed my presence and sent a large assault team. Their numbers were great, and I was soon overpowered and placed in the grips of an enormous Ghost Clam. I knew my odds of surviving were slim and I only had one chance.

Reefkeeping's exclusive shot of Diver Dan as he enters Griss's tank on Operation Flatworm. His bravery is second to none.

RKM: I understand Ghost Clams can be quite dangerous.

DD: Yes. I don't know of anyone that was caught by one and lived to tell about it. The Aiptasia forces had stung me quite badly, and I could barely move. Luckily, I had just enough mobility to reach my Berghia Brigade Bell. The Berghia Brigade arrived in time to release me from the Ghost Clam before I was crushed and never heard from again. Once released from the Ghost Clam, I aided the Berghia Brigade in eradicating the Aiptasia Forces.

Here Diver Dan is seen dueling with the deadly Aiptasia Force just prior to opening his secret tool kit and completely eradicating the enemy. He was held captive in the Ghost Clam (seen here), but managed to escape with the aid of the Berghia Brigade. (The shots taken after the destruction were deemed too gruesome for publication by the new editor).

RKM: What about the Ghost Clam?

DD: Well, with the help of a few power tools, it really is a ghost clam now.

RKM: What about Dr. Flatworm?

DD: Dr. Flatworm managed to escape. His identity and transport methods remain unknown. I know he is out there, and I'll find him. I have to find him. His evil infestation of reef tanks has to stop.

Although, the evil Dr. Flatworm was not captured, Diver Dan is relentless. Right after the interview, he was seen in hot pursuit.

RKM: What about the reefers you assembled?

DD: They were never the wiser to the potential problems at hand. They did return after a day of fun, and I saw no sense in ruining their day. We did get to see some of the local sites and spent alot of time socializing.

RKM: Even without catching Dr. Flatworm, it seems it was a success and a good time had by all.

DD: Yes, that is part of the reefing community. Socializing and finding better and safer ways of reefing.

RKM: What's next on your schedule?

DD: I'll continue my search for Dr. Flatworm and his minions.

RKM: And then?

DD: Hopefully, we can rid reef aquariums of his minions.

RKM: And then?

DD: We'll see what fate has in store for me.

RKM: And then?

DD: First Dr. Flatworm, and then we'll see what happens.

RKM: And then?

DD: aaaaaaargggggggggghhhhhhhhh

If you have any questions about this article, please visit my author forum on Reef Central.


Reefkeeping Magazine™ Reef Central, LLC-Copyright © 2008

The Adventures of Diver Dan by Dwayne Sapp -