Top Ten WORST Reef Products That (thankfully) Do Not Exist...

10) Embarrassed by those unsightly bald rock patches? Get the new Hair Club For Reef's, "Hair Growth Formula." Our patented blend of phosphates, nitrates and proteins will help develop lush, thick patches of hair algae. Be the envy of all reefkeepers in your area.
Get Hair Club For Reef's, "Hair Growth Formula" NOW!!!
Operators are standing by...
Scavenger of Nanaimo, BC

9) "Reef Camo" - Our clothing is made from synthetic Caulerpa so you can sneak up on tank inhabitants without startling them. We also sell red flashlights.
polcat_4u of Phoenix, AZ

8) "The In-Tank Dinner Bell" - Are your fish used to eating daily at the same time yet you're so busy you don't always get there at the exact minute? Try "The In-Tank Dinner Bell." Your fish will learn to call you using the buzzer... every time they hit the button, a pleasant chime will sound and alert you to feed them. They will soon let you know when they want dinner, breakfast, or any old snack they desire.
Tahoe Ocean of South Lake Tahoe, CA

7) "The Electric Fish Fence" - Gotta keep that pesky fish away from your polyps? Time to take modern technology from the yard to the tank... the electric fish fence.
DaleInCincy of Cincinnati, OH

6) "Patience In A Bottle"- the perfect gift for the newbie reefkeeper! Click here for picture.
matt the fiddler of Indianapolis

5) "Ich-Away Scrub Brush" - kit also includes the handy, "Tie-Me-Down" fish board.
Tech Diver of Concord, MA

4) "The Underwater Wavemaker Powerstrip" - Control as many as six powerheads from one outlet. No more unsightly cords hanging on the sides of your aquarium. With the underwater powerstrip all electrical connections can be hidden out of sight behind your live rock. UL approval pending. Grounding probe recommended.
Mark Spencer of Andover, MA

3) "Instant Aiptasia In A Can" - just add water, shake and dump it in!
jamesonkh of Brighton, NY

2) "AquaNAIR" - just spray on to remove that pesky hair algae."
FishhyRen of Jax, FLA

1) The "How To Sound Like Jacques Cousteau When You Describe Your Reef" instuctional video.
Scavenger of Nanaimo, BC

Reefkeeping's next Top Ten for February: Top Ten Sneaky Ways Of Browsing Reef Central While At Work... Our thanks go out to Habib for suggesting the next topic!

Honorable mention goes out to the following members for submitting 10 Top Ten reasons: Tahoe Ocean. Thanks, folks!

Think you're funny? Send us an entry (via the Submit button or the forum link below) for the Top Ten Sneaky Ways Of Browsing Reef Central While At Work...

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